You’re the reason our children are ugly

As the more culturally aware of you may have spotted, the July challenge – set by the grumpy old men at the Sunday night curry club – was to use song titles for every post. Not that difficult, although I had to depart slightly from my original aim of only using songs I like or at least have on my iPod. (I’m now thinking I should have gone for ‘Use it up, Wear it out’ rather than ‘Wombling Free’, which was more than a tad obvious, but there you go.)

I’m not actually that keen on the Smiths, but you’ve got to admit, Morrissey gives good song title – in fact quite often, the song consists of little else (‘Some Girls are Bigger than Others’ being the most obvious example I can think of at the moment). I’ve always thought the songs seem like a bit of an afterthought: ‘Shoplifters of the world unite’, ‘Please please please, let me get what I want’, ‘Never had no-one ever’, ‘You just haven’t earned it yet baby’ … etc. I suppose ‘The Queen is Dead’ has lots of words, but he makes a little go a very, very long way in most of the others.

Anyway, seeing as I have by no means exhausted the back catalogue of Super Furry Animals, Arctic Monkeys, Pavement, Flaming Lips, Half-Man Half-Biscuit (genius song titles, but try matching a blog post to them), I’m going to try to keep it going through the silly season. You can have fun suggesting what I could have used instead.

And tonight I’ve finally got the chance to use what has to be the absolute best song title of all time. (Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, before you start Googling). There’s a story in today’s Guardian that one in five fathers are wrongly identified in Child Support Agency claims. This is actually more than a little misleading, as it only applies to cases where a DNA test was ordered – so presumably excludes cases whether neither party has called the parentage into question. But still, interesting. What’s the solution though? Compulsory DNA tests before all births are registered? No, I’m not suggesting that, but I can’t think of anything else that would stop this happening. Apart from men being a little bit more careful, I suppose! And yes, I know that wouldn’t help where a couple have been trying for kids, but the woman has been unfaithful – but I suspect most of these cases don’t fall into that category. Better stop…. I’m sounding like Jeremy Kyle. But I am right, aren’t I? (And I got to use that title.)
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