I know this much is True

Bizarre interview with Michael Gove in the Telegraph, in which he says that Cameron is someone “you could imagine snogging like we did to True by Spandau Ballet.” Expect a press statement from Mr Gove’s office soon to clarify that he didn’t actually mean that he himself indulges in fantasies of ‘snogging’ Cameron to a backdrop of mellow bellowing from Tony ‘Tory’ Hadley. He also says in the interview that “some people see Cameron as some sort of milquetoast, pantywaist…”

I’m not sure what’s more off-putting. The fact that a senior member of the Shadow Cabinet still uses the word ‘snogging’. The fact that he either (a) imagines indulging in such an act with his party leader, or (b) thinks it’s a good thing that his party leader is someone who can readily be imagined indulging in such an act. Or the fact that he uses words like “milquetoast” and “pantywaist” (which sounds like something Spandau Ballet might well have worn) in everyday conversation.

For the record, the slowdances I remember at school discos were ‘Always and Forever’ by Heatwave or ‘If You Leave me Now’ by Chicago – but that’s because I stopped indulging in such activities at the age of about 12. I could divert into reveries of how the current Cabinet are punk/ New Wave/ post-punk industrialists, with perhaps a touch of Two Tone/ mod, whereas the Cameroonites are frilly-shirted New Romantic fops – no substance and a fairly dubious sense of style – but I’m meant to be working. And because it doesn’t stack up at all on the Labour side once you start to think about it.

Incidentally, I hear word on the grapevine of a colleague who went up to the press gallery on a Friday afternoon to remonstrate with the Telegraph about their ‘holiday’ questionnaire, to find the desks deserted; they’d cleared off early. Remember journos, it’s a recess, not a holiday!

PS The rumour doing the rounds on Twitter that Michael Gove has also suggested that George Osborne is ‘the kind of guy you could imagine working out to Musclebound by Spandau Ballet in the gym’ is entirely without substance. I know because I started it. Ditto the one about Eric Pickles appearing in the video for Paint Me Down.

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