I was in Ireland recently, visiting my father who moved back there about 15 years ago. Killing time in Dublin before getting the coach to the airport, I was browsing the make-up counters in a department store when I was pounced upon by one of the salespeople, a woman in perhaps her late 50s, who started offering me unsolicited advice on hiding my freckles. She began dabbing orange stuff on my face, a grotesque caked-on mask, which I quickly objected to….”Oh, you don’t mind looking pale then?” she said.

I genuinely hadn’t realised that women weren’t supposed to have freckles anymore. And this was in Ireland, for God’s sake. If it’s not OK to have pale skin and freckles in Ireland, then I suspect nowhere is safe from the tyranny. The future is bright, the future is orange.

Mind you, I don’t think she was the brightest spark. When I told her I was in Ireland to visit my father she said “Is he older?” Yessss… that’s usually the way it works.

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  • Alex  On August 14, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Oh, pfft. I love freckles. If everyone had more freckles the world would be a happier place.

  • Quietzaple  On August 15, 2011 at 2:44 am

    Twas sad: poorly woman being used to try and demoralise others in the name of a deviant and dominant culture.

    The most attractive woman I know is pickled in freckles and other splotches. When I were a lad my Swedish and part Red Indian girlfriends had some.

    I thought almost all pinky skinned people did.9

    • kerrymccarthy  On August 15, 2011 at 9:38 am

      I know quite a few mixed-race black/ Irish people with great freckles and slightly reddish hair but still afro texture. In fact I think there’s one taking part in Britain’s Next Top Model this year, saw her pic in the paper – very striking.

      • Quietzaple  On August 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm

        Most entertaining and joyous wedding I recall was of an Irish girl with a fair few freckles and an ango/Iranian lad in Birmingham. The West Indian groom was marvellously sentimentally drunk: “I love you Az.” he repeated.

        Not seen the children, all an adventure.

        In the Goons’ story of Neddy Quatermass and the Pit a pun is the denouement.

        A tin of Irish stew is found and supposed to hold the clue to humankind’s ancestry.

        “Yes Folks! We’re all decended from Irish Jews!”

        More than likely.

      • kerrymccarthy  On August 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm

        If the Irish girl was marrying an anglo/ Iranian lad, where does the West Indian groom come into it? Or did they have horses there?

  • Nicholas Duffin  On August 15, 2011 at 8:59 am

    Surprising attitude to freckles. Personally I have always found them ‘cute’. But I guess it’s a bit like the ‘thing’ about being ginger. This was articulated well by Reginald D Hunter – – at the end of this clip.

  • Quietzaple  On August 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    @Kerry Sorry, for groom read best man. Flu gets me down.

    I’m proud to be part Irish myself. We can celebrate and perhaps there should be a freckle festival.

  • Chris Whitehead  On August 15, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Everyone in my immediate family has loads of freckles….it’s really really attractive! Freckles are brill! The more the better. Chris Whitehead.

  • NotDickWitts  On August 16, 2011 at 6:12 am

    “join them up and see what god made you”

  • Steven J. Oram  On August 16, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Mia Farrow – need I say more?

  • kerrymccarthy  On August 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    I’ve been doing some more research on this… One website I found informed us that freckles are what kids get… Once you’re an adult you seem to fall into one of three categories a) hormonal b) sun-damaged c) liver spots. All of which they can ‘cure’, for a price.

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